A neurodivergent lens on autistic and ADHD communication styles in the workplace
For many neurodivergent adults, navigating workplace communication can sometimes feel like we're speaking a different language or at least a different dialect from the majority of our colleagues. Differences in perception and experiences between neurotypes – such as between autistic and non-autistic individuals or between autistic and ADHDers – can create significant communication challenges. These challenges arise from a mutual lack of empathy and shared understanding. For instance, while an autistic person may struggle to fully grasp the perspective of a non-autistic colleague, the reverse is equally true. This dynamic is known as the ‘double empathy problem’, a concept first introduced by Milton in 2012, and explored extensively in subsequent research (Milton et al., 2022).
In this blog article, I'll share two concepts that have helped me understand myself better and improved my communication across all neurotypes: executive functions and situational variability. Throughout, I’ll give examples of how issues in cross-neurotype communication arise - as well as some practical ideas of how communication can be improved, resulting in more positive, enjoyable and lasting relationships in the workplace and beyond.
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Autistic & ADHD communication strengths
When it comes to understanding their strengths and challenges, most neurodivergent people relate to the concept of a ‘spiky profile’. The spiky profile refers to the fact there is a sharp contrast between areas of strength and challenge for neurodivergent people; many of whom have both above-average strengths and above-average challenges. This is in contrast to neuromajority who experience a more gentle contrast between areas of strength and challenge. While no two neurodivergent people are the same, some particular strengths are frequently associated with different neurotypes.
For example, many autistic people have strengths in honesty and fairness (see, for example, Nocon et al., 2022). This means they are more likely to tell the truth and give honest feedback. This can be helpful and a necessary antidote to mistakes that happen when processes and procedures have not been critically reviewed.
It is a common misperception that autistic people have a deficit in communication skills. In fact it’s more accurate to view autistic communication as different and not deficient compared to the neuromajority. For example, research by Crompton et al., (2020) found that autistic-to-autistic communication was as effective as non-autistic to non-autistic communication. However, difficulties arise when communication is across neurotype - and are exacerbated when neither neurotype accommodates for communication differences.
Many ADHDers have strengths in curiosity, love of learning, and creativity. This means they are likely to ask a lot of questions to find out more (if the topic is of interest to them!). ADHDers may have a way with words and use lots of creative metaphors and analogies in their conversations. ADHDers can frequently hop from one topic to another, as their brains make connections that are not always obvious to an outside observer.
Executive functions and how they create communication challenges for autistics and ADHDers
The low points on the spiky profiles of ADHDers and many autistic people are usually around challenges with executive functions. This is a fancy term that covers what the brain does to get stuff done.
A great model I like to use as a coach is Brown’s AFEEMA model.
As you can see in the image below, the model breaks down executive functions into six separate but interconnected areas; each area can impact communication in different ways. A person's executive functioning is not fixed, it will vary depending on many different variables which we’ll look at later. But for now, let me take you through the six areas in turn.
Brown’s AFEEMA model
Click on the + sign to expand and learn more:
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Meaning: Getting started on a task, organising and prioritising.
What this can look like:
Giving lots of information because it’s difficult to identify which are the important nuggets to share (prioritisation)
Jumping around from topic to topic, or missing key details so the other person struggles to understand (organisation)
Difficulty initiating conversation (hard to find the words to start)
Going round in circles in a conversation without being able to make a decision
Asking lots of questions to get clarity on what we’re being asked to do
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Meaning: Attention, transitions and shifting focus, distractions.
What this can look like:
Asking a question but not being ready to listen to the answer as our attention is still on the previous task (we haven’t fully transitioned yet)
Not hearing and/or responding to others when focusing on a task that we are absorbed in (all our attention is on the task)
Not being able to concentrate on a conversation if there are too many distractions going on for us (which may not be distracting for the majority of people)
Difficulty shifting from a topic that we are interested in, even if others are not engaging with it.
Alicja and I share our experiences of this in this 5-minute video: Autism Special Interests - Keeping Conversations Interesting
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Meaning: How much effort we are having to make. This can vary depending on lots of factors including the mode of communication.
What this can look like:
Inconsistent communication levels; for example you’ll hear from us several times in one day and then nothing for weeks
Mismatch between written and verbal communication - many of us find one much easier than the other
Some of us can become non-speaking when we get overwhelmed (selective mutism)
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Meaning: Emotional regulation.
What this can look like:
Going 0 to 60 fast with our emotions
We might blurt things out, snap, shout, swear, blow up
We might get “flooded”, shutdown and withdraw
Some of us have alexithymia, which means we have a difficulty with identifying and labelling our emotions. Alexithymia can make it harder for us to know what we want and need
Some of us will say things impulsively and possibly share more personal information than is expected
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Meaning: Many neurodivergent people have brilliant long term memory for things that are interesting to them. However, most of us struggle with working memory - where we are temporarily holding information in our heads that we need to act on.
What this can look like:
Asking lots of questions because we have forgotten the previously given answer
Interrupting because we are worried we will forget what we want to say if we wait
Difficulty remembering names when we have just been introduced to someone
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Meaning: The ability to notice what you are doing whilst you are doing it and making any necessary changes.
What this can look like:
Speaking very fast
Speaking a lot - monopolising conversations
Speaking too little - not giving enough information
Missing cues from other people that they want to end a conversation
These are just some examples of how executive function challenges can affect communication. At the same time, it’s important to acknowledge that communication and executive function are situationally variable, meaning the same individual can experience a wide range in their ability to communicate. This will depend on how they are in that moment, the task they’re trying to do and the environment they’re in.
Situational variability and the role the individual, task and environment play in effective communication
I first came across the situational variability model in the book Neurodiversity at Work by Kirby and Smith (2021) and explored it in more depth in my training with Gold Mind Academy.
Whenever communication isn’t working, you can use this model to break down what’s happening.
In the images below, you’ll find a workplace based example of how the individual, task, and environment can all contribute to communication going well or badly.
What might hinder a workplace online meeting
What might help a workplace online meeting
This example is for an online office meeting, but you could apply it more broadly to any communication situation you’re in.
As a coach, I often use the situational variability model to identify what helps people communicate in different situations, whether autistic, ADHDer, AuDHDer or any other neurotype.
It can help shed light on:
what you need to do to support yourself
what you can ask for to gain understanding and support from the people in your environment who have some control over your tasks.
whether you need to change the environment you are in to get your communication needs met.
A side note on the importance of environment in communication:
Alicja and I have both attended Autscape, a UK conference and retreat organised by and for autistic people.
We share our experience of it in this 5-minute video:
Conclusion
In conclusion, navigating workplace communication as a neurodivergent adult is not easy. What makes communication across neurotypes difficult stems from executive functioning challenges - but also the lack of shared understanding resulting from having different processing styles and experiences. However, having better awareness of your own executive functioning issues and recognising how individual, task, and environmental factors influence your communication can help you identify what you need to be a more effective communicator in the workplace.
Want to learn more about this topic?
You can watch Alicja Nocon and Lynne Tapper share their thoughts on neurodivergent communication in this five-part Youtube series
To learn more about Lynne and her work, visit: Communication Coaching
To discover more about your neurodivergent strengths as a recently discovered autist or AuDHDer, visit the Exploring Your Autistic Self course
About the Author (Guest Contributor):
Lynne Tapper is an experienced ICF-credentialed Neurodiversity Coach and Trainer, specialising in working with autistic and ADHD clients. She has a particular interest in communication and her business is called Communication Coaching. She recently joined the faculty of Gold Mind Academy which provides ICF-approved training for aspiring ADHD coaches.
References
Brown, T. E. The Brown Model of Executive Function Impairments in ADHD. The Brown Model of Executive Function Impairments in ADHD. https://www.brownadhdclinic.com/brown-ef-model-adhd
Crompton, C. J., Ropar, D., Evans-Williams, C. V., Flynn, E. G., & Fletcher-Watson, S. (2020). Autistic peer-to-peer information transfer is highly effective. Autism, 24(7), 1704–1712. https://doi.org/10.1177/1362361320919286
Gold Mind Academy: ADHD on Purpose. Gold Mind Academy: ADHD on Purpose. https://goldmindacademy.com/
Kirby, A. (2021). Neurodiversity at Work: Drive Innovation, Performance and Productivity with a Neurodiverse Workforce. Kogan Page, Limited.
Milton, D. (2012). On the ontological status of autism: The ‘double empathy problem’. Disability & Society, 27(6), 883–887. https://doi.org/10.1080/09687599.2012.710008
Milton, D., Gurbuz, E., & López, B. (2022). The ‘double empathy problem’: Ten years on. Autism, 26(8), 1901–1903. https://doi.org/10.1177/13623613221129123
Nocon, A. S., Roestorf, A., & Menéndez, L. M. G. (2022). Positive psychology in neurodiversity: An investigation of character strengths in autistic adults in the United Kingdom in a community setting. Research in Autism Spectrum Disorders, 99, 102071. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.rasd.2022.102071
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